Discoveries of Difference: Mixed Status Families

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how are you?” She thought that he was going to help him out for a bed and everything. She was like “we are ready to order” and he was like “yes, if you can do me a favor…” and he was like “can you please keep her close? Can you please make her wait in the car because we do not want anything stolen.” I was like “what did I do wrong?”

I questioned Cristina to make sure that I had heard her right and that this scenario was taking place in a furniture store where she was a young girl. She confirmed that it was and added that when she heard that she needed to be kept close, watched, or put in a car—and it was only her, not the other girl from the “Anglo-Saxon” family—she felt less than human. She explained: “I was like am I a dog or

something? Dogs wait in the car for their owner.” Social interactions, including the ways identities are evaluated and judged in everyday social interactions, condition experiences of non-acceptance and self-doubt. This particular experience is not explicitly linked to ULS, but highlights a number of other identity characteristics such as race, ethnicity, or nationality that may result in discrimination during everyday interactions.

In this regard, neither the 1.5GUY nor outsiders need to know ULS to disturb one’s SofB, worth, identity, and membership in the human race. Of this particular scenario, Cristina acknowledged “that is when I found out, that is when I started knowing that there are people out there who are going to look at you like that. And it’s sad that at a young age, I had to learn it like that.” Cristina’s narrative illustrates that being recognized does not always result in positive outcomes; indeed, it was precisely the social recognition of differences that resulted in discrimination and negated SofB. The 1.5GUY are subject to a double-edged sword of discrimination based not only on ULS, but also on racism and related ethnicism. They may become aware of the differences between themselves and their peers early in life. This awareness is sometimes a hyper-consciousness of differences, which affects their

identities, practices, and interactions long before systematic exclusion. In the public sphere, even the most banal of scenarios and interactions can lead to discomfort and discrimination. In these cases, recognition does not result in acceptance; observation is what causes feelings and experiences of difference.

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home and in private. It is not these interactions themselves that necessarily create discrimination, but rather these scenarios which make evident to the 1.5GUY that ULS will prohibit their everyday lives—

and already does. This was especially the case for 1.5GUY who come from “mixed status” families, e.g. immediate families with varying legal and non-legal statuses and was particularly true for 1.5GUY who had younger, U.S.-born, citizen siblings. Thus, in addition to parental approaches regarding ULS, the experiences and opportunities of younger citizen siblings can also make salient the impact of ULS early in life in both implicit and explicit ways.

With her parents, Issa moved to Texas from Mexico when she was one and a half years old. Issa explained that she not only became aware of her ULS early in life, but also aware of the differences ULS would have on her everyday opportunities:

I remember knowing the difference. When I was in about 3^rd grade, 4^th grade, we had a trip that we had to go on. My mom was already hesitant to approve and let me go. It was just outside of Texas, here within the U.S., but she still felt really insecure about letting me.

And that is when she had the discussion with me like “you are not from here…your brother and sister are, but you are born in Mexico.” I knew I was from Mexico, but I didn’t know that I didn’t have the privileges that they had. And that is when it became real to me.

Issa was a participant in the educational system, but not an unconditional one. Due to her mother’s insecurity, Issa was prevented from participating in a mandatory school trip with her classmates precisely due to ULS. This scenario was a turning point of Issa’s life: not only did she learn of her ULS, but she also had a firsthand experience of the limitations ULS brings in everyday life. Due to the fact that Issa had two younger citizen siblings, the personal knowledge of differences—in privileges and rights—would be made salient in the most intimate of spheres in ways she could not escape.

Unlike other families, Issa said that her family talked about ULS “all the time. It is something that is always discussed.” Instead of making comparisons between herself and her classmates, Issa explained that she began comparing herself and her activities against those of her brother and sister and learned that her place of birth and ULS were major factor in these differences. She explained that growing up, her primary desire was to have legal residency: “one of my biggest things was to be a resident or to at

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least have a social [security number]—or anything else other than what I have right now,” illustrating her desire to achieve SofB through legal legitimization.

Issa explained that her younger siblings were also aware of the difference in their opportunities and the role that legal residency and citizenship status had in structuring their lives. For example, her siblings had been to Mexico to visit extended family, but neither Issa nor her parents could accompany them.

However, differences in opportunities also influenced approaches to life:

It is really different. They have that mentality that they can apply for full financial aid.

They have more guaranteed things here, so my side is always like “no, you have to push harder. Do this, do that.” And they don’t have that. I don’t see it in them to go the extra mile that I always push myself to do. And so I feel like they don’t see that sometimes. I feel that it does hurt me. I don’t feel like to them, it is as important as it is to me.

Issa’s statement illustrates that though citizenship comes with more guarantees, it does not always come with the drive to take advantage of those opportunities. For Issa, it is both structural and motivational factors which cause her pain; when she sees firsthand, individuals who can, but choose not to take advantage of opportunities, the irony is not lost on her.

Similarly, Alma arrived in Texas from Mexico when she was only a few months old and has younger U.S. citizen siblings. While she explained that her parents do not talk about ULS, Alma said that she tries to motivate her siblings precisely due to the opportunities they have:

I talk to them about school, because my sister, my middle sister doesn’t really try in school.

I tell her “you should…” I was telling my younger brother, too, because he is just starting high school. I say “try to do your best…you will have more opportunities than I will, because you are from here.” I was telling him “you have me to help you, I had nobody.”

They already know English. My sister is in 3^rd grade and she has been studying English since 1st grade. When I was in 1^st and 2^nd grade, I had trouble because my parents didn’t know English and I didn’t either. I had to learn it on my own.

Alma’s statement illustrates the ways older siblings can influence younger sibling’s educational

pursuits. I often encountered scenarios where 1.5GUY from mixed status families cautiously lamented

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the difference between their opportunities and those of their citizen siblings, especially in instances where the 1.5GUY felt as if the citizens were not taking full advantage of opportunities.

Cristina, who experienced discrimination linked with racism early in life, also learned of the differences in everyday opportunities by comparing herself with her U.S. citizen sister. Cristina described her sister as “blessed to be born here” less than a year after Cristina’s family immigrated.

When I asked Cristina if she knew of her ULS growing up, she linked her knowledge to the differences between herself and her sister:

I did not always know about my status. I was seven years old when I started knowing about it. That was different. People were like “Oh, Cristina, you are Mexican.” And with my sister, it was like “you are pure American.” There was that division between us. I guess I can say that I was a little jealous of my sister because of that.

Cristina’s knowledge of divisions—and the resulting “jealousy”—came as a result of legal status based on heritage, nationality, and place of birth. However, ULS also reversed expectations based on birth-order. Cristina explained that as a first-born child, these differences had a particular emotional impact:

Being the oldest, I guess it was really low self-esteem for me. She could already do all of these things…I was always the oldest. As a child at seven, ten, eleven years old, I was always like “I am the first one who is going to do all of this because I am the oldest.” And yet I felt like I would never be able to do that stuff.

Cristina became painfully aware of the limitations ULS had on her everyday activities early in life, which ended up affecting her well-being at a young age. Her statement that she will “never be able” to do the things her sister can suggests lack of hope, alluding to long-term challenges.

Finally, Ralph detailed that his mother has voiced her remorse over not moving to the United States earlier, so that Ralph would be a citizen instead of undocumented: “my mom kind of regrets not

coming earlier so that I would have been born here…She realizes that we are not offered the same kind of opportunities.” Though Ralph has been able to participate in education like his citizen siblings, the inequality and imparity in their activities and opportunities does not go unnoticed. The narratives of 1.5GUY from mixed status families illustrate that experiences from the private and familial spheres can

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make evident the implications of ULS, including early in childhood. When combined with youth’s narratives describing discrimination by extended family members, these narratives make evident that discomfort and difference can result not only in the educational system, but also in the private sphere.

The family setting is not always one of comfort and acceptance, but also a where one becomes consciously aware of imparity and difference.