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5.2 Growing up in the U.S

5.2.3 Constructions of Identity & Home

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make evident the implications of ULS, including early in childhood. When combined with youth’s narratives describing discrimination by extended family members, these narratives make evident that discomfort and difference can result not only in the educational system, but also in the private sphere.

The family setting is not always one of comfort and acceptance, but also a where one becomes consciously aware of imparity and difference.

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to be”—a challenge I return to in later chapters, but one that nonetheless suggests that at times, conceptions of home are processual and structured by knowledge of ULS.

Gabriela’s statement also illustrated what many 1.5GUY explained in regards to their constructions of home: length of time, lack of memories, and being raised in the United States play an important role in identifying with the U.S. rather than their homelands. Alvarez, for example, cited being “used to” and comfortable with cultural norms, including knowing “how things work.” In this case, knowledge leads to comfort, which allows youth to establish a sense of home and therefore SofB. Similarly, Beatriz explained “I am used to it…I have a life here. My family is here,” illustrating the importance of being accustomed to routines, having a life, and having one’s closest relations to consider a place “home.”

Because the 1.5GUY arrive at such a young age, go through socialization processes, and are raised in the United States, many youth say they are accustomed to the life in their “home.” Especially for the youth who immigrated at only a few years of age, their lack of memories prevents them from citing their homelands as home.

Brazilian-born Gustavo arrived in Massachusetts at age eight, but explained that he grew up in the United States, not Brazil. During our discussion, Gustavo cited the current challenges with education and employment that he was facing due to his ULS. I asked “if I can be a little provoking—and also take from what I have read from the opposition—people say ‘well, if you can’t do this, why don’t you just go back home?’ what would you say?” His answer turned to experiences of growing up in the United States and the way that has shaped his SofB, sense of self, and identification practices:

I have grown up here. Personally—I am not speaking for every family—but I have grown up here. I have spent most of my life here...and I have grown a sense of nationalism to America. You know? Even patriotism to America. Of course, I still have the Brazilian heritage behind me, but I have spent most of my life here. This is where I have assimilated fully, into every aspect. Into politics, the culture, unhealthy food…

Gustavo’s statements illustrates that due to his life stage and young age at arrival, he feels as if he has grown up in the United States. Additionally, length of time plays an important factor: he has “spent most” of his life in the U.S. Due to these factors, Gustavo has not only learned, but also embraced and

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assimilated various cultural, national, and patriotic practices that he views as “American.” While acknowledging his heritage, he asserts that the United States is his home.

In general, being educated, socialized, and raised in the United States were frequently cited amongst 1.5GUY in their everyday constructions of self, identities, and practices. However, there were variations amongst youth as to whether they cited one or multiple homes or points of reference. For example, during my discussions with Ralph, I asked him “Do you consider Mexico your country?” to which he replied:

I consider it my place of birth, where I have citizenship. Ya, it is my country, but I think that now, since I have always been educated in the U.S., I basically know more history about here than over there. I kind of declare this as my country as well. I am kind of stuck in between.

Ralph made the distinction between Mexico and the United States: while he was born in Mexico and has citizenship status there, he has been raised and educated in the U.S. His narrative illustrates the importance of information—knowledge of history—in his constructions of home, which led him to consider the U.S. “his” country, despite his ULS. However, Ralph’s statement “I am kind of stuck in between,” illustrates a hybrid SofB, self, and home. He continued answering my question, making evident this hybridity: “I am very proud of my roots. I declare myself Mexican, but when they ask where I have been raised, I would say the U.S.” Together, these narratives illustrate a number of factors that go into constructing the United States as the 1.5GUY’s home.

Youth also pointed out that their knowledge and ability to embrace or enact cultural norms caused outsiders to view the 1.5GUY, but not their parents, as belonging in the U.S. For example, Brazilian-born Leonardo explained “I think people see us as kind of more ‘American’ than undocumented

adults…we grew up here. We know how things work. We did the pledge of allegiance every day. We did everything that everyone else does.” These everyday practices and experiences allow the 1.5GUY not only to construct their sense of home, but also signify their identities and achieve SofB in the process. Youth’s statements refer to time, life stage, age at arrival, and education as major factors that not only contribute to this construction of home, but also allow them to be knowledgeable about practices and enact or assimilate them. Even when youth are facing challenges due to their ULS—and

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therefore discomfort, insecurity, and uncertainty—youth often refer to the U.S. as their home, making their relationship to home dynamic and complicated.