As we saw in chapter 3, Goffman makes a distinction between three types of identities.
Social identity refers to our membership of a social category due to certain qualities and characteristics. Personal identity refers to the “uniqueness” of a person with his own biographical facts and “positive marks” and “identity pegs” which make him identifiably different from others. Goffman also notes …”that what distinguishes an individual from all others is the core of his being, a general and central aspect of him, making him different through and through…” (Goffman 1990 [1963]: 74), but
64 Goffman does not explore this further, and that is why it is difficult to understand Goffman’s “self”, and hence one has the feeling of the metaphorical peeling of an onion. He seems somehow to avoid meanings of the “self”. The third identity is the phenomenologically inspired ego identity, which refers to our subjective experience of our own situation and our personal continuity, but as mentioned in chapter 3, ego identity plays a less conspicuous role in stigma. Nevertheless, the idea of ego identity allows us to consider what the individual may feel about stigma and its management.
Goffman suggests that there are three phases in the learning process of the stigmatized.
First he learns the normal point of view and that he is disqualified according to it.
Secondly he learns how to cope with the way others treat the kind of person he can be shown to be. Finally he learns how to pass and cover. Passing was described in chapter 3 as a strategy that a HIV diagnosed person will make use of, if he does not want to disclose his serum-status. Passing is a strategy of handling information control by a discreditable person. However, the means employed for this task are quite similar to those employed in covering, and therefore both strategies will be discussed in a moment.
Learning the normal point of view is a socialization process through which the stigmatized person learns and incorporates the stand-point of the normal, thereby acquiring the identity beliefs of the wider society and a general idea of what it would be like to possess a particular stigma (ibid: 45). It seems that Goffman neglects or leaves out the question of primary socialisation and selfhood. As stated in chapter 4, during early life each human being develops – ideally – a sufficient sense of selfhood to provide a foundation of “ontological security”, but how this “ontological security”
influences the identity of the stigmatized person seems uncertain in Stigma. The norms and standards that the stigmatized person incorporates…”equip him to be intimately alive to what others see as his failing, inevitably causing him, if only for moments, to agree that he does indeed fall short of what he really ought to be” (ibid: 18). Here we get a touch of how the stigmatized person may feel about his stigma, though his feeling is only there for moments, since the stigmatized person feels that he is a “normal
65 person”, a human being like anyone else. Nevertheless, he learns that he is disqualified according to the normal point of view, and therefore coping becomes a strategy.
What does Goffman mean by coping, then? A stigmatized person may find that he feels unsure of how we “normals” will identify him and receive him, whether we will be rejecting or accepting towards him. He may also feel the sense of not knowing what the others present “really” think about him. Further, during these so-called mixed contacts, the stigmatised person is likely to feel that he is “on”, having to be self-conscious and calculating about the impression he makes, to a degree and in areas of conduct which he assumes others are not (ibid: 25). As stated by many of my informants with physical impairments, they felt a lack of anonymity, because in public they were constantly stared at, they were “on”. If they made mistakes it was always referred to their disability. I got an opportunity to share this feeling, when I went to an HIV test with a disabled male informant. The other clients were staring, and in the beginning I thought that it was because of my presence as a white woman (which of course has influenced the situation). Nevertheless, my informant told me that this was a common experience.
This statement was confirmed by other informants. Going to a HIV/AIDS clinic evoked a feeling of being looked upon by other clients as a person who would not be able to have sex and be infected with HIV/AIDS. It evoked a feeling of having behaved immorally. One way of coping is simply to avoid these situations or using a strategy of covering. This strategy will be discussed in a moment. Another way is to learn how to manage the tension generated during these social contacts. Goffman suggests that good adjustment …”requires that the stigmatized person cheerfully and un-self-consciously accept himself as essentially the same as normals, while at the same time he voluntarily withholds himself from those situations in which normals would find it difficult to give lip service to their similar acceptance” (ibid: 146). One can then imagine the dilemma a stigmatized person will experience if s/he would like to marry an able-bodied person, become a parent, or would just like to fulfil the need for sex. They will have to face the meaning of phantom acceptance, since they are only looked upon as phantom normals.
Finally I will discuss the strategies of covering and passing. Goffman uses the term covering about situations,…”where persons, who are ready to admit possession of a
66 stigma (in many cases because it is known about or immediately apparent) may nonetheless make a great effort to keep the stigma from looming large” (ibid: 125). The stigmatized person tries to reduce tension. In this way he makes it easier for himself and others to withdraw covert attention from the stigma. At TASO I met a client who wore dark glasses, because he had lost an eye due to an infection with herpes zoster. He clearly wanted to cover his defacement to minimize the obtrusiveness of his stigma.
This was an obvious example of covering. I suggest that we also use the term covering in situations where PWDs seem to have what is defined as “immoral” sexual relationships. Some may be proud of just having a partner, like an informant stated earlier; others (especially women) may try to cover those relationships to reduce the tension in their informality. It is not expected or proper for a (disabled) woman to interact in a series of unstable relationships. It is not proper to have a man coming to your house at night, so it is better not to tell anyone. According to Goffman, covering and passing are identical in some cases, since what will conceal a stigma from unknowing persons may also ease matters for those in the know (ibid: 126). I suggest that we also use the term covering about the situation when PWDs avoid attending HIV/AIDS services. PWDs want to cover up what is looked upon as “immoral”
behaviour. They are not expected to be sexually active. These presumptions regarding PWDs and their (sexual) behaviour are quite different from presumptions regarding the sexual life of their able-bodied peers. This difference and the fact that HIV/AIDS is sexually transmitted make it difficult for PWDs to attend HIV/AIDS services. They prefer to cover up or simply not to know their serum-status; they prefer to live with HIV/AIDS as their secret. Some will step forward when they get severe symptoms, as we saw in the case of Marion (chapter 3), but it is difficult. PWDs cover up, not because they need to, but because they expect to meet stigma, if they disclose their serum-status. Furthermore they fear the consequences of social exclusion. This seems to be a kind of self-regulating process, which will be explored further in chapter 6.
So far we have seen that PWDs learn that they are somehow disqualified for sex and marriage. However, they have the same desire for “wholeness”, and the same need to be loved and have sex as anyone else. The insecurity of whether they will be rejected or accepted (as a sexual human being) makes PWDs more or less consciously “choose”
67 strategies of coping such as for example covering or passing. However, according to Jenkins, resistance may also become a strategy, as we saw in the case of Michael (chapter 4). Even though Michael was categorized as “deviant” from his early childhood, he refused to think of himself as a person with a “spoiled” identity. He wanted to defeat his surroundings in their thoughts and minds by silently proving that he could do almost everything from his wheelchair. During his whole life Michael has been working on being accepted as a competent and full-fledged member of society.
According to Jenkins, persons, with the internalization of the identity “deviant”, will try to work themselves out of this over time, in individual biographies, but as suggested by Goffman, the stigmatized will only meet phantom acceptance.
5.7SUMMARY
In this chapter roles and rules related to sex and marriage have been explored from the perspective of Goffman’s “interaction order”. It is difficult for PWDs to be considered eligible marriage partners; however, they have the same desire for “wholeness”, including the same instincts and need to be loved as anyone else. Thus PWDs will be more vulnerable to interact in sexual relationships with varying social definitions and legitimacy. These relationships may to some extent break sexual norms, and therefore PWDs seem to fear the reactions from their surroundings if they should be diagnosed HIV positive. Especially disabled women must face a triple burden (disabled – HIV positive – prostitute), but also disabled men have the feeling of being labelled as
“deviants” if they attend HIV/AIDS services. Goffman has offered an understanding of how the categorization as a “failed” member of society will be incorporated as a
“spoiled” identity. The stigmatised person goes through a learning process where s/he will learn how to cope. Covering and passing are ways of coping which PWDs seem to make use of. It is better not to know or show one’s serum-status, because in that way one cannot be categorized as “failed”. PWDs try to cover up their serum-status by not attending HIV/AIDS services. This self-fulfilling process will be discussed next.
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