Voice – learning through critical self-reflection, self-expression and storytelling

The second topic that emerged in the mapping process to be analyzed more thoroughly will illustrate an empirical pattern in the youth learning that centers around changes related to topics such as critical self-reflection, self-expression and storytelling - here labeled as the learning that circles around ‘voice’.

The formulation of an empirical pattern of critical self-reflection, self-expression and storytelling emerged during the fieldwork participant observations and was cumulatively explored in the sequence of ethnographic interviews with the youth.

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In the participant observations - as unfolded in the tales of the ethnography – it became clear how a central pedagogical focus on critical self-reflection, self-expression and storytelling was immersed in the different program elements.

How these self-reflective, communicative, self-expressive and narrative factors were experienced by the youth - and which forms of concrete agency they made possible - was explored in the ethnographic interviews. Here the youth in different ways express that the program has helped them to ‘find their voice’ – an expression that also was found many empirical examples of during fieldwork.

As with the preceding analytical exercise that circled around the many aspects of food - the next step in the analysis will look at the different contexts in which youth make experiences with their ‘voice’.

Parallel to the changes around the topic of food, the topic of ‘voice’ show different processes of change in learning from a more skills oriented understanding of communicating and performing professionally to a perspective on ‘voice’ that involves critical self-reflection and self-expression, often with an emotional aspect, and in a more identity transformative direction. In other words, a learning process that starts with focusing on development of skills around presentation, moves on to social practices of around different feed-back techniques and a general pattern of storytelling as a central part of the learning, and in this an emerging mentor-mentee relation – to experiences of personal transformation, changed self-images and identities.

As with the topic of ‘food’ the question of how do youth practice agency in these different situations will accompany the analysis. The analysis will be structured in relation to three parts or areas where different communicative, self-reflective, self-expressive and narrative elements of ‘voice’ are in focus:

 The first is an analysis of the general ‘vibe’ of communication and dialogue, the way this is intentionally formed by a range of pedagogical measures and how youth reflect upon ‘language’

and communicating as a professional skill.

 The second is workshops and events as inviting spaces for public speaking and presentation. Here the basic training in public speaking as well as the role different food justice events plays in creating challenging and/or inviting spaces in which youth practice different forms of agency in relation to ‘voice’.

 The third is an analysis of the central role of the technique of ‘straight talk’ where youth together with staff practice giving and receiving feed-back about their performances in the program activities, often related to the co-working situations during farm work.

Finally, the analysis will sum up with analytical reflections on general perspectives on the program as a space for learning with ‘voice’ through critical self-reflection, self-expression and storytelling.

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The first aspect of ‘voice’ – the skill of communicating and speaking as a professional

This aspect takes off from the way strong emphasis on job training and professionalism in the program and the way this is connected to the communication and speaking. Frequently mentioned by staff during the whole summer, the importance of being good at communicating and talking as a professional was empirically found to be especially emphasized in the early weeks of the summer program. As earlier described in the ethnography a concrete learning goal for many youth in this phase is to be able to be on time in the morning and if not, to communicate to the staff that they will be late, if they not are to receive a warning for violating a ‘standard movement’. Another important element in this aspect of ‘voice’ is the way speaking in general is addressed with reference to becoming more professional in the sense of learning to adapt to the expectations of workplaces where swearing and the use of ‘inappropriate language’ is a ‘no go’. A third element is the earlier mentioned emphasis on being able to work AND talk and not as it often was the case to be so engaged in a conversation that the actual work task was forgotten about.

As presented and described earlier in the ethnography, the ‘standard movements chart’ that was introduced to the youth at the beginning of the summer defines a range of standards that when violated result in either a warning or if repeated, in subtractions on the pay check. As also earlier mentioned the standard movements chart is legitimized by the staff as reflecting demands that generally are agreed upon by workplaces and employers in the community and thus presented as relevant and reasonable learning goals for youth in a job training position. As also described this practice was asked to in the interviews and here the youth in general expressed acceptance of the standards as well as the way it was practiced in the program as incentive and something of high relevance to learn to manage.

The two specific standard movements that relate to ‘voice’ are ‘glorifying drama/violence/sex/drugs/alcohol’ and ‘using inappropriate language’. In the interviews many youth expressed strong feelings of success in the way they ended up being able to meet these expectations.

Here Marisol talks about the way she finds that the ‘standard movements’ have helped here to change the way she speaks to communicate more professionally:

I think they are good. I think they are really good. Cause they helped me... Like [the program]

helped me to wake up in the morning. I would, okay, I don't, I am not proud of this, I'm so not proud of this, but I would be late to school mostly every day. It is just hard for me. It was just hard for me. So [the program], it’s like, you're late again... And it's like, I will be late like 1 minute or just half a second, I mean half a minute. And you know, it's not worth it. You know like, I wake up at 7. Most people wake up at 7 , but for me it’s like a big deal. So it changed and it helps. It really does help. You know, I used to say a lot of bad words. And I’m really proud

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that I don't anymore. And it just all helps you. You know, and.. You can do all this stuff, but not when you are working and going to school. Like, you know, to yourself.. I mean we are all gonna say a bad word... It happens, but you know, it just really does help you to control yourself. It's cool, I like that. The rules, it helps. [Interview 2 with Marisol, July]

What is interesting in this quote is the way Marisol sees a personal success in not using ‘bad words’

anymore and linking it to a sense of self-control. Another example of the program as a space for building awareness of ‘speaking’ and ‘language’ and ‘finding one’s voice’ is the way Manuel in the fall reflects on his learning in relation to the way he sees himself as more talkative and relates this to having a social life:

My goals are to be more .. have a more social life .. just because I feel like I was not exposed to a lot of talking .. during my kid years .. like during middle school .. so this gave me the opportunity to be more .. like more talkative .. and more like ‘ooh, doo doo doo do daa’ .. [the summer job] that pushed me, that helped me be like OKAY .. people were not going to laugh and if they do, just laugh with them, no big deal! .. it made me more human in a way...

[Interview 3 with Manuel, October]

This quote is representative of the general perspective in the way many youth reflect on how they experience to be able to better express themselves and closely linked to this, to feeling more self-confident and how the social and communicative space of the program has been instrumental in this change.

The second aspect of ‘voice’ – workshops and events as inviting and challenging spaces for public speaking and presentation

Making short presentations from interpretation of brief curricular texts, like in the workshops on

‘Food and Activism’ or ‘Family Timeline’, was practiced throughout the summer job training program.

The subjects of these presentations could also go in a more personal direction, where the youth’s own family history of immigration or illnesses were in the focus, as in the ‘Family Timeline’ workshop that was described in the ethnography. A specific workshop that many youth refer to when asked about communication skills is the ‘Public Speaking’ workshops and the ‘How to get a job – and keep a job’-workshops that also are described in detail in the ethnography. An important detail in these workshops is the concrete topics and templates that are part of the training. In the public speaking workshop youth are asked to make a speech over how they make their favorite sandwich after which staff and the group of youth give feed-back on how to improve on the presentation, for instance in speaking louder, slower or using more body language etc. In the job interview workshops the topic is more personal as it now sets off from personal motivations to apply for a specific job as well as to how to dress, enter the room and behave in the social situation of an interview. As an example of the

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social dynamics in the program around how youth can be pushed out of their comfort zones to do presentations and later reflect upon such situations as turning points is Eliseo’s story. The specific context of the story, earlier described in the tale ‘Youth Day – Rooted in Community Regional gathering’ from the ‘researcher’s point of view’ in the ethnography of the summer program, now follows in Eliseo’s own words:

So I guess [the program] in a way is made to fit every person. It helps you develop into more of the person you are instead trying to make you go a certain way. Sort of I feel like the program is there to give you that push you need to go do what you, what you know you can do, but you are just hesitated or afraid to do it I guess. Because now I go in and I can speak you know, I can talk for days but eh I was also very very nervous or not confident enough to go speak with mic and so I think just [the program] opened the door and I think it opened doors for other people.

I cannot speak for everyone but eh probably they could and tell you in a way how [the program] has eh, like made their path more clear perhaps. So it was like for me that moment was when we went to Pie Ranch and I got up there and I started to sing .. from that moment on I knew in a way I can do this. It is not hard anymore. Yeah I actually think my goals came after [beginning in the program,]. So like I guess it was like now I have a more clear sense of what I want to do and I set up those goals. And other several things, so my thing, my goals only came after [joining the program], after I developed into a person I have worked with. Yeah.

One of my other goals is to go do more public speaking, I like, kind of like the microphone and the big public and I still get nervous but I am more, I want to keep doing it so I can one day finally go up there, not nervous like just speak and yeah. So I want to have, keep doing it. so I think it comes down to that moment when I went up to sing. Yeah. That is like the one thing when you asked me about [what I learned from the program] that is the one thing that pops into my head. That moment at Pie Ranch when we got up there and I started to sing.. So I think it was that moment for me. Yeah. I got pushed, I got pushed at the end to the like, Esther pushed me up there, like really pushed me up there. (laughing) So and we were up there and eh like they gave me the microphone and I was hours there so I just did it. Yeah so I guess I was, I took her pushing me up there and then, like they giving me the microphone to like just do it, yeah. [Interview 3 with Eliseo, October]

What stands out in this story of a ‘turning point’ for Eliseo’s learning in the program is the way he was pushed by one of the junior staff to sing in front of a group of youth, a performance that had big and positive consequences for the way he saw himself as public speaker. Several other elements in the story are important to mention. A first thing is the importance that Eliseo attaches to being pushed in order for him to do what he otherwise had not had the courage to do – to take the mic and sing in front of the other youth. In this way the story is also an example of how the pedagogical intention of challenging the youth is also practiced by a junior staff, which as peer-to-peer educators often may be only 1 year older than the youth at large in the crew. What is also interesting for the analysis to note is the specific context of this kind of agency in the way it took place in the middle of the summer on a regional ‘Rooted in Community’ gathering where the all the youth in the program

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participated. Here different central California youth food justice organizations were meeting presenting each other. This gathering is an example of several of the situations where the program through the youths’ participation in different events are exposing them to the larger youth food justice movement, a practice in line with the program’s wish to encourage the youth to build an awareness of belonging to a wider social movement around food and social justice.

Another recurring event that the program is taking part in is the annual ‘Bioneers’ conference that takes place in central California each year in October and with several hundred participants gathers environmental and food justice activists from across the US and overseas. As a part of the interview that was conducted during the fall business management positions, Manuel asked if he could read out a letter he, encouraged by the staff, had written as a form of evaluation of what he experienced at the conference the past week, a story that reveals the kind of sharing of personal stories about the very profound changes in identity that he has been engaged in and continue to be struggling with:

Dear Bioneers, I had a wonderful time, I stayed for 3 days and it was an experience I am keeping for ever .. I learned about earth and environment .. I enjoyed the mushroom speaking Paul and the awesome knowledge of mushrooms .. There was a speaker called Paul and he knew a lot about mushrooms .. it was .. amazing .. I love the slam poets, there were slam poets there .. I’m overall really grateful and happy that I got to go with a sense of being open to what Bioneers had to offer .. I was exposed to a community that appreciated the world and the life, that stands on it .. During this trip I learned a more complex meaning of where I am carrying my life and who this person is .. I deeply look .. I looked on my sexual orientation and my gender identity .. within an open circle with characteristics of feminine and masculine expressions. I left hearing people’s stories of being other than the binary. It was beautiful to find adults and having an equal stage and having the opportunity as a young person. By that I mean that no matter if we were young or old we still .. it felt like we were .. that it didn’t matter, we were just there for the experience, for what was happening . So that was beautiful.

I also another beautiful perspective of women and the capacity of female power having a scoop of women gave me the chills that I too am woman in a man in a person.. That we fight for what is right for having women leaders made this experience powerful and diverse. I love the youth tent and the magical energy of us young people. We discussed some of our passions and struggles. We all had inputs, loved our food, enjoyed the people, and all in all this was an experience, this experience will take me onwards to my passions and struggles, and I'm happy to be living in a world that believes in change. Sincerely, the kid Manuel [Interview 3 with Manuel, October 28]

Earlier in the middle of the summer, at the same regional youth food justice gathering, which was mentioned by Eliseo as a turning point for him, Manuel also showed an agency through the way he did a ‘sharing’ where he talked about himself and what brought him to the present situation of the sharing circle. The concrete method for the sharing was called the ‘fish bowl’ as a metaphor for the way a small circle of 4 seats was surrounded by a larger circle of maybe 100 youth that sat as listeners to the short personal presentations that the 4 youth in the center were giving each other.

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The dynamic of the exercise was to let the youth themselves decide whether to go into the small circle when the four youth had completed a round after all had spoken, as well as to decide themselves what to tell. The prompt was ‘what brought me here to this place and point in my life?’

and at this occasion Manuel for the first time spoke to a wider audience about his background as a son of farm workers and about his growing awareness of his sexual orientation and gender identity.

As will be analyzed in the following paragraphs, there exist within the framework of the summer program a range of opportunities for youth where they can practice different forms of agency in the sense of making choices about revealing more personal aspects of their backgrounds and present life situations. These opportunities can both be natural elements in the ‘informal conversations’ that are sustaining the widespread building of friendships between different youth as well as between youth and staff persons which is a central part in what youth value in the program, a practice that is framed by the many opportunities for both choosing with whom to work and the many conversations that take place, especially during the farming work. The specific analytic implications of the relation between youth and staff, especially the phenomena of how the youth come to see staff as friends, will be dealt with in the upcoming sub-chapter on the construction of professional roles.

These opportunities can also be found in the more formal or structured communicative practices as

‘straight talk’ that will be dealt with shortly and in a specific workshop that several of the youth refer to when asked about whether there were occasions during the summer that had been of a particular significance for their experience and learning. Placed in the third week of the summer program. the poetry workshop is one such setting that more explicitly seeks to create a ‘safe space’ where youth are asked to write short stories for themselves and choose among prompts as ‘I am not who they think I am’ or: ‘If you could take one person whom you love with you to an island who would that be?’ or ‘Describe three things that have changed your life’. After 15 minutes of individual writing the staff person who facilitates the workshop invite the youth to share what they have written. Here Pablo reflect upon what this specific workshop meant for him in the sense that he became aware of where he is heading and work hard for that:

The poetry one, I really opened up and .. looked at things that I need to work on .. and it really kind of set the tone for the rest of this summer, because I have to do summer school because I failed in my freshman and sophomore years .. in high school I didn’t do a very good job in English and in Social Studies, so they allowed students to reattempt these credits so I can get 5 credits from my English and 5 credits from my Social Studies by doing chapters out of a book and .. yeah, so I’m doing that .. I’m almost done with one unit for the English, and I just .. I need to focus on where I’m heading instead of like .. what I am at right now .. [so that poetry workshop …] put me in the mood to work hard and .. I gotta focus on what’s important to me ..