The British FA Test Responses

The 22 participants produced a total of 44 written responses explaining how they understand and use the word ashamed. Out of their 44 responses, nine contain references to the word embarrassed:

‘being embarrassed about something, particular your own actions’ (GB1), ‘to feel embarrassed about and to regret something you have done’ (GB2), ‘to be more than just embarrassed about something because it was morally wrong, not just embarrassing OR to be really upset, more than embarrassed about a situation or something/someone’ (GB3), ‘it is an embarrassing feeling that you do not want to be publically known’ (GB7), ‘ashamed is being embarrassed or disappointed in something, because it is something that can be considered ‘’bad’’ or ‘’negative’’’

(GB8), ‘you are perhaps embarrassed and do not wish to own up to something that you have done/completed’ (GB15), ‘embarrassed or regretful of a bad thing you might have done’ (GB19), ‘the feeling of regret after doing something embarrassing or for which you could be ridiculed’ (GB21), ‘when you feel embarrassed and regret doing something’ (GB22)

As can be seen, from these General Descriptions, the participants appear to equate ‘embarrassment’

with ‘shame’. Except for one person (GB3), they all consider feeling embarrassed and ashamed as the same thing, i.e. they do not distinguish between the two words, or perhaps the two emotional concepts, and therefore they use the words interchangeably. In view of this resemblance between embarrassed and ashamed in these descriptions, it is worth looking at the descriptions which explain ‘ashamed’ through the use of embarrassed. According to some researchers, the main difference between ‘embarrassment’ and ‘shame’ is the eliciting events. As the events that normally

elicit ‘embarrassment’ are trivial, accidental and without serious consequences, ‘embarrassment’ is also felt as less serious and intense. In contrast, the events that elicit ‘shame’ are more severe transgressions with more severe consequences and therefore the emotion is felt more strongly and intense. Thus by investigating the situations in which the participants use embarrassed interchangeably with ashamed, we can see if they merely use the word embarrassed to help describe their understanding of ashamed or if they are unable to distinguish between the two concepts:

‘He was ashamed when he admitted to having stolen from the shop’ (GB1), ‘She was ashamed of her actions. You should be ashamed of yourself’ (GB2), ‘If your friend has committed a crime, they would feel ashamed to tell you’ (GB7), ‘He was ashamed that he had left her there alone. My mother was ashamed that I cheated’ (GB8), ‘I am ashamed to tell you that it was me that stole your purse. I am ashamed of myself for how I acted last night’ (GB15), ‘He was ashamed of himself for losing his temper’

(GB19), ‘I felt so ashamed to admit how I felt’ (GB21), ‘You should feel ashamed about what you did’ (GB22).

As can be seen from these examples, except for a few unspecified shame-eliciting activities, the situations and behaviours mentioned above are all of a severe nature. Furthermore, in all except example — ‘I felt so ashamed to admit how I felt’ (GB21) — it is impossible to replace ashamed with embarrassed without changing the essential meaning of the sentence, i.e. the word embarrassed does not match the context of cheating, losing one’s temper, stealing, and other criminal acts. Therefore, it can be argued that embarrassed cannot be used interchangeably with ashamedin the examples above. The fact that the participants in their General Descriptions equate

‘embarrassed’ with ‘ashamed’, but describe situations of ‘shame’ in the Examples, suggests that they rely on the traditional theoretical notion that the two emotions are similar, related, and possibly even different versions of the same emotion with ‘shame’ being describes as ‘embarrassed’ and sometimes even as superordinate to ‘embarrassed’, i.e. stronger or more than ‘embarrassed’.

In addition to the use of embarrassmentas a way to describe ‘ashamed’, another noteworthy feature is the number of instances of ‘regret’. This aspect is regularly mentioned in the General Descriptions:

‘…and to regret something you have done’ (GB2), ‘…and something which they really regret.’ (GB4), ‘wishing that you haven’t done something’ (GB5), ‘a negative feeling of regret and remorse’ (GB18), ‘… regretful of a bad thing you might have done’(GB19), ‘the feeling of regret after doing something …’ (GB21), ‘…and regret doing something’ (GB22).

The fact that ‘regret’ is included in their understanding of ‘ashamed’ suggests that the offenders must be aware that their actions are regarded as improper by someone, either themselves or others which are aware of the actions. This awareness of having committed an act that may be viewed as improper is evident from the following examples of General Descriptions:

‘A sense that you have done something morally wrong’ (GB1), ‘A person feels ashamed when they have done something really wrong, that they know is really wrong

…’(GB4), ‘Ashamed is the feeling you get when you have done something terribly wrong that is not just wrong but not very nice either’ (GB6), ‘Ashamed is being embarrassed or disappointed in something, because it is something that can be considered ‘bad’ or ‘negative’’ (GB8), ‘similar to guilty but more negative feelings, when you have something wrong (or that you perceive to be wrong) but have been caught out in it, and are made to feel bad for something (GB9), ‘A feeling where you know you have done something wrong – realise it, and therefore feel bad’ (GB10),

‘Feeling bad or guilty about some wrongdoing…’(GB12), ‘Embarrassed or regretful of a bad thing you might have done’ (GB19)

In these General Descriptions, it is clear how feeling ‘regret’ as a component of ‘shame’ requires the wrongdoer to be aware of the fact that the act committed is considered inappropriate by someone. In other words, if the act is not improper there is no reason to regret it or feel ‘ashamed’

of it. Furthermore, many of the descriptions above also include feeling bad about having done something wrong or bad. Here, to feel bad about something can be viewed as an expression of the physicality of the emotion. In these cases, to feel badmeans that something inside one’s body does not feel right and thus the emotion can be seen as being physically anchored. In other words, the expression refers to the irregular, uncomfortable feeling a person experiences inside their body in connection with, e.g. feeling ‘ashamed’, similar to how a body feels wrong, heavy, painful, unwell, and uncomfortable when actually sick. Nevertheless, this physical embodiment of ‘shame’ is rarely overtly mentioned, much in the same way the participants also do not overtly specify the nature of the shame-eliciting act committed, i.e. whether it is good or bad, positive or negative, etc.:

‘to feel embarrassed about and to regret something you have done’ (GB2), ‘wishing that you hadn’t done something’ (GB5), ‘When someone is unhappy about something they or someone else did’ (GB11), ‘Feeling guilty and bad for an action committed’ (GB12),

‘Ashamed is when you feel bad for doing something’ (GB14), ‘You are perhaps embarrassed and do not wish to own up to something that you have done/completed’

(GB15), ‘Ashamed is when someone is ashamed for their actions’ (GB16), ‘to have resentful feelings toward someone or about something you have done’ (GB17),

‘Ashamed: To disapprove of your own past actions’ (GB20), ‘When you feel embarrassed and regret doing something’ (GB22)

In these descriptions the acts committed are not said to be bad or wrong. Nevertheless, the participants feel ‘ashamed’ of committing them. Consequently these acts must implicitly be erroneous; if not, why would people feel ‘ashamed’ of them and disapprove of them? It is theoretically possible that any sort of act or form of behaviour – good or bad, right or wrong – is able to evoke feelings of ‘shame’. Nevertheless, as the General Descriptions include expressions and words such as guilt,regret,feeling bad,resentful, and disapprove, the more likely explanation is that acts, behaviours, and situations eliciting ‘shame’ are regarded as being of an improper nature.

By exploring the rest of the Examples, it should be possible to deduce more about what type of acts, behaviours, and situations are able to cause feelings of ‘shame’:

‘He was ashamed when he admitted to having stolen from the shop’ (GB1), ‘I was ashamed of what I’d done. She was ashamed of her mother’ (GB3), ‘”I am ashamed of you”, “You should be ashamed”’ (GB4), ‘I would feel ashamed if I had stolen off somebody because it’s an unkind thing to do’ GB6), ‘If your friend has committed a crime, they would feel ashamed to tell you’ (GB7), ‘He was ashamed that he had left her there alone. My mother was ashamed that I cheated’ (GB8), ‘I was ashamed to find out what happened last night’ (GB9), ‘I was ashamed of what I did’ (GB10),

‘That man ought to be ashamed of himself. I am deeply ashamed to have to admit that I was negligent in this matter’ (GB13), ‘I am ashamed of myself for not admitting my true thoughts’ (GB 18), ‘He was ashamed of himself for losing his temper’ (GB19),

‘”I felt so ashamed to admit how I felt”’ (GB21)

These situations show a great deal of variation covering anything from criminal offences, wrongful treatment of others to (non)declarations of emotions and thoughts. It is interesting that in some of these examples people are ‘ashamed’ not of the wrongdoing itself, but worried that the wrongdoing is, or may become, known to others. In other words, the offenders are aware of having done something improper, but it is the idea of other people knowing about it and judging and condemning them that makes the offenders ‘ashamed’ rather than the act itself. Thus, it is not the inherent wrongness of the fact that the offender has committed the act, but the expected evaluation and judgement by others that arouse feeling ‘ashamed’. This is also evident in the examples where judgement and ‘shame’ of a wrongdoing or a person is imposed by others:

‘You should be ashamed of yourself’(GB2), ‘She was ashamed of her mother’ (GB3),

‘…a person can feel ashamed of someone else, if that other person is guilty of such and act’, ‘”I am ashamed of you”, “You should be ashamed”’ (GB4), ‘My mother was ashamed that I cheated’ (GB8), ‘When someone is unhappy about…or someone else did’ (GB11), ‘That man ought to be ashamed of himself’ (GB13), ‘You should be ashamed of yourself!’ (GB14), ‘I am ashamed of you’ (GB17), ‘You should feel ashamed of what you did’ (GB22)

All these examples refer either to people being ‘ashamed’ of others or to people requiring of others that they feel ‘ashamed’. The reasons for this apparent need for ‘shame’ are not made clear although it seems reasonable to assume that the judging other believes the person put to shame to be responsible for committing an improper action. Therefore the quotations above can be seen as illustrative examples of the aspect expressed by participant GB9: ‘…when you have done something wrong (or that you perceive to be wrong) but have been caught out in it, and are made to feel bad for something’. In other words, when you have been exposed of committing an action that is viewed as improper by someone, you will be evaluated and judged for it and it is through this evaluation and judgement by others that the feeling of ‘shame’ arises. It is worth noting that even without the visible judgement by others, the wrongdoers still feel ‘ashamed’ of their actions and behaviours. This suggests that the offenders do not need actual real people to evaluate and judge them in order to feel ‘ashamed’; the mere idea and expectation of the judgement by others is sufficient. This is can be seen in the following examples:

‘He was ashamed when he admitted to having stolen from the shop’ (GB1), ‘If your friend committed a crime, they would feel ashamed to tell you (GB7), ‘I am deeply ashamed to have to admit that I was negligent in this matter’ (GB13), ‘I am ashamed to tell you that is was me that stole your purse’ (GB14).

In these examples, people are ‘ashamed’ to admit to, or tell others, that they have committed what may be considered an inappropriate act. As a consequence, it appears to be the prospect of other people knowing about what one has done and the concomitant evaluation and judgement of one’s persona that triggers the feeling of ‘shame’.

If we pursue the idea found in the previous chapter of how the participants use pronouns differently across the three language groups, we find that similar to their responses to the stimulus word guilty, the British participants also do not use the personal pronounIat all in the General Descriptions for ashamed. Instead they use third-person pronouns such as someone, somebody, one or the general you,which may be interpreted as an indication of the participants directing their communication at

the hearer in accordance with their supertype (see 3.3). In contrast, the Examples contain 15 instances ofIin combination with ashamed:

‘I was ashamed of what I’d done’ (GB3), ‘I am ashamed of you’ (GB4), ‘I am so ashamed that it happened’ (GB5), ‘I would feel ashamed if I had stolen off somebody…’(GB6), ‘I was ashamed to find out what happened last night’ (GB9), ‘I’m ashamed of what I did’ (GB10), I’m ashamed of you’ (GB12), ‘I am deeply ashamed to have to admit that I was negligent in this matter’ (GB13), ‘I’m so ashamed that I ate all of that chocolate!’ (GB14), ‘I am ashamed to tell you that it was me that stole your purse. I am ashamed of myself for how I acted last night’ (GB15), ‘I am ashamed that I ignored him’ (GB16), ‘I am ashamed of you’ (GB17), ‘I am ashamed of myself for not admitting my true thoughts’ (U18), ‘I felt so ashamed to admit how I felt’ (GB21).

Although a few of these refer to I being ashamed of someone else, most of the examples are instances of feeling ‘ashamed’ of one’s own action or behaviour, criminal as well as non-criminal ones. Interestingly enough, out of these 15 instances of I, one is not a real but a hypothetical situation ‘if I…’(GB6), while two participants (GB 14 and 21) use quotation marks as if the phrase in the example is direct speech uttered by someone. This shows that even though they use I, they do not refer directly to themselves and their own feelings and experiences of ‘shame’.

To sum up, in their free written responses, the native English speakers present an understanding of the word ashamed as feeling ‘regret’ about an act, behaviour, or situation that is viewed as, or expected to be, evaluated and judged as, improper by others, though the situation per semay not be inherently wrong. They understand the emotion of ‘shame’ to be bodily experienced, and include feelings of regret because of an act which may be considered wrong by themselves or others.

Because one has committed this wrong act, one expects other people to think badly of one and that makes one feel bad inside: I did something which is wrong. Because I did this other people will think badly of me and therefore I will feel bad inside. I wish I had not done this.